Not written for a few weeks… I guess I’ve been suffering from bad beat blues. The first few days in April were ok but since then it’s been pretty abysmal. I’ve not lost massive amounts as I had reduced the stakes well down. But the beats had been fairly shocking, it seemed like almost every day I would be taking a massive hit or two and struggling to recover. I would be getting it in on a 554 flop holding 54 only to be called by an over pair and end up losing. When I have QQ and the flop comes QJJ the guy has jacks. When I hit middle set he rivers a higher set, it goes in on a AK flop holding AK and he’s been slow rolling AA etc etc etc.
Now taking hits like this day after day, week after week is bearable if you pick up the odd pot as well. But it seems that the gods were not for letting this happen. I’d hold AA vs his AK and flop would come As Ks Js 2s Tc !! This has happened 3 times in a week!
The trouble with a run like this is that it impacts your ability to play normally. After a while you start to see ghosts and become worried about playing the nuts on the turn in case the river does you. You become a calling station, and still end up getting your money in, but on the opponents terms and not your own. As things start to spiral the cards dry up and you can’t find your way into a pot, when you do pick up AKs on a King high flop you cling to it and overplay it walking slap bang into matey boy with bottom two pair. It short you end up playing like a total twat and this simply compounds the miserable run even further.
Things came to a head this week when after a brief resurgence I managed to blow 5 buy ins at £ 1 / 2 NL … It does not get much worse than this, if you are doing your nuts at this level then something is wrong! Afterwards I sat down and reflected. I came across a recent post on Dpommos blog where he quotes someone else’s mantra about recovering from a downward spiral and being a profitable poker player. At the end of the piece there is a sentence that resonated with me.
From time to time I will check my play and if I’m playing badly I will stop playing.
I’m playing badly… so I’ve decided to stop playing. I could go on but I’m sure in this frame of mind I’d dump the rest. So I’m banking it in the baby fund for security, Shell has just finished work for 9 months and now’s not the time to be living on the edge. I’m probably going to go back to work full time.
Poker has always been fun, but the past two months have been no fun at all. To compound this I’ve been playing more and more for the WSOP promo (shame cos I’m not far off on course for it… if anyone fancies taking over the account mail me and we can maybe talk) , over the past few years it’s gradually taken more and more of my time up, ive put on a few pounds and let my social life slip a little. Considering I’m going to be a dad in the next few weeks, now seems as good a time as any to claim my life back.
You could say that but for a small loosing run I’d still be happy playing every waking hour and I guess you would be right, but things have a funny way of working out and in some ways I’m glad to have made this decision. Poker has been good to me, I’ve made a lot of money over the past few years, I guess that’s more than most can say. It was good while it lasted and while I have more discipline than most it obviously is not enough.
I may well continue playing some casual poker for fun… With FUN being the operative word. I’ll probably keep the blog updated once every few weeks of so as well.
3 years ago
6 comments:
Sad news mate.
Give it a few weeks and then a nice winning session and i'm sure you will be back as keen as ever.
Before then, enjoy your time off and make the most of life. Best of luck for the future whatever you decide to do...
Cheers
Benno
Nice post Jim very honest too. Fair play to you for giving playing for a living a good try. Remember quitting pro doesnt make you a lesser player. I suppose it just gets even harder when theres other bigger things going on in your life too.
I love poker myself but i dont think i'd even like it if i had to play it for a living. Hell i dont even play cash games for this reason. I play stt's because bad beats just bounce of you in stt's but they cut into you when playing cash.
Anyway keep the blog going and best of luck with the impending fatherhood!
GL
Rounders123
you need a break from it mate - pure and simple. - you know you can play, you know you can win but you have probably lost your freshness.
you'll be back - you know it!
enjoy fatherhood for now
gl
Hi Jim !
I know how you feel. One day you're ripping up the games, and the next, you're getting ripped, eventhough you're doing everything just the same.
As they say, "it's a tough way to make an easy living".
I had the same experience, eventhough I play for pleasure, and a 3 month break did wonders for me.
Good Luck,
Razboynik
I have got to say Jim that I really didn't see this coming at all and I am shocked.
You are clearly in the top percentile of poker players in terms of cash management and you certainly have things in perspective with regards to putting Shell and the baby first.
You are also right in standing by your decision of if it aint working then stop and I have enormous respect for that (I don't think that I ever could).
You clearly have abilioty and perhaps the pressure of your coming homelife may have sub-conciously affected your game (although it reads as if you have not been doing anything differently other than running badly). Without the added pressure of needing to win and having a full time wage coming in, you may see an upturn in fortunes too.
I hope that you find the fun back in poker. If you seek pleasure from the game, have you thought about playing more MTT's? Less risk and a nice potential prize at the end if you are successful.
Best wishes mate and I hope things turn back for you.
Jim.
A very honest post mate. If that is your final decision then the best of luck to you mate. I don't know you or your family but the best of health to you, the wife, and the baby.
All the best
JPJ
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